Before we get into the pod, I just want to reprimand every single one of you who are still holding onto your ballot. We have the Best Voting System Ever™️
No, really. On June 3rd I got a text from our county clerk saying the ballot was in the mail, I got it the next day, and then I had A MONTH to do my research on all the candidates, pile up all the mail I got from the folks running in my district, make an informed choice, and then drop my ballot off at EITHER the Belmar Library or the Lakewood Civic Center, which had ballot dropboxes within mere yards of one another. ‘Tis a privilege to live in Colorado, ‘tis almost even more of a privilege to vote in Colorado, though it should just fuckin’ be like this everywhere, let’s get real.
Having said that, THIS WEEK on the Get More Smarter Podcast! If you’re reading this when I sent it out, TODAY IS THE COLORADO PRIMARY ELECTION! That means you have until 7pm tonight to get to a Voter Service Polling Center (VSPC) or use one of the thousands of ballot drop boxes across the state to cast your vote and, in case you didn’t know, this primary is REALLY IMPORTANT and will more or less dictate the direction the Democratic Party, aka the only governing or relevant political party in Colorado takes for the next decade or so. Here are some important resources for you:
To get all the info about the 2024 primary election, click here.
To view your sample ballot (aka to figure out if you have any contested elections), click here.
To find out where to drop your ballot or vote in person, click here.
Before we get to the primaries, we did have a little segment about how soon-to-not-be-in-congress Dave Williams is such an unbelievable schmuck that he’s caused splash damage for another Republican named Dave Williams (who, like bad Dave Williams, runs near no risk of actually being elected to anything), and our segment caught the attention of legendary Colorado reporter David O. Williams (!) who wrote this amazing blog post about the whole thing, it’s very much worth your time.
Now that all that administrative nonsense (and friendly shoutout to the Best Dave Williams) is out of the way, here are Jason and my prognostications for the 2024 primary elections, comment and let us know which one of us is more smarterer, and if you don’t well, we’ll all find out tonight a little after 7pm, once again, because Colorado has the very best election system in the country and it isn’t close (get absolutely owned, Oregon).
Congressional District 3 Republican Primary
Ian - Jeff “Bread Sandwich” Hurd
Jason - Ron “Death to All Office Equipment” Hanks
Congressional District 4 Republican Primary
Ian - Lauren “as much as we don’t like it” Boebert
Jason - Lauren “no really only like 1/8th of us are actually like us” Boebert
Congressional District 5 Republican Primary
Ian - Jeff Crank (which Jason Jedi mind tricked me against last week) with 55% of the vote
Jason - Jeff Crank with 60% of the vote
Congressional District 8 Republican Primary (for the privilege of losing to Dr. Yadira Caraveo)
Ian - Gabe-ish Evans
Jason - Gabe-ish Evans
That’s it for this week’s episode! If you loved listening to it as much as we loved recording it, you can thank us by subscribing to the pod wherever you listen, following us over on Nice Twitter aka Threads, and forwarding this email or sharing this post with your friends, your enemies, and the losers of tonight’s primaries, they’re about to have A LOT of time on their hands! THANK YOU so much for listening, and we’ll see you next time!
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