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Episode 183: Nopeachment and a Dozen Future Chickens

Episode 183: Nopeachment and a Dozen Future Chickens

An egg isn’t a chicken, a sapling isn’t a tree, a seed isn’t a flower, and no, a frozen embryo isn’t a person, no matter what Alabama has to say about it.

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Create a cartoon image depicting a group of sci-fi metallic eggs that resemble mechwarriors, piloted by chickens. These mechwarrior eggs are in the process of crossing the border into Colorado, positioned next to the iconic "Welcome to Colorful Colorado" sign. The scene should be dynamic and humorous, capturing the whimsical nature of chickens piloting futuristic mechwarrior eggs. The background should highlight a typical Colorado landscape, enhancing the contrast between the sci-fi elements and the natural beauty of the state. Ensure the image is colorful, engaging, and captures the essence of this imaginative scenario.
The Get More Smarter Podcast (and DALL-E-3) Welcome You To Corlouful Coorado

This week on the Get More Smarter Podcast, the impeachment of President Biden gets derailed when the GOP’s star witness turns out to not only be utterly full of shit, but it turns out he’s literally a Russian intelligence asset! Where have we seen this movie before?

Then, Colorado is a safe haven for abortion rights. And, apparently, family rights, like, the right to have a family. By now, you all have heard about the heinous Alabama Court Case that made destroying an embryo created via in-vitro fertilization (which accounts for 1/100 pregnancies in the country) essentially tantamount to murder, or manslaughter, or sticking your 4 year old in a freezer, we guess. Anyway, we get into the totally avoidable and really tragic situation that happens when ideologues and religious zealots make medical laws instead of doctors and medical experts!

Then, we get into the federal investigation going on around Stephen Varela, the State Board of Education member who is running to replace Lauren Boebert as our 8th favorite Member of Congress from Colorado in the Third Congressional District, and is apparently trying to emulate more than just her policy positions. Varela is under investigation for allegedly misusing over $100,000 in union dues for personal expenses ranging from beer brewing equipment to luxury hotels. Since being a criminal is now a prerequisite for running for office as a Republican in Colorado, we imagine this episode only improves Varela’s chances at winning the 3rd, at least in the primary.

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Then, you know him as Cardboard Cory, Colorado’s own Cory Gardner is back! This time he’s weighing in on his old congressional district by endorsing Jerry Sonnenberg in the race to replace CNNKen Buck. Does Cory provide the establishment RINO kiss of death for ol’ Jerry, or is he the validator and field-clearer that he once was for himself?

Then, Gabe-ish Evans, who almost certainly will not be a member of Congress, went on a tirade against public schools, essentially accusing them of being left-wing indoctrination centers. This may work in his primary against Scott James and…another guy who won’t be in Congress, but when he has to explain to every family in Adams and Weld or every teacher in the same communities why he thinks public schools aren’t good enough for their kids, who are highly likely to be in public schools, it’s gonna be a problem.

Next, an anti-trans bigot shows up at the state capitol to host a “rally” except, nobody showed up, and she couldn’t pass out fifty flyers to passers-by. We almost feel bad for her, until we realize she’s an anti-trans bigot who largely targets children and their families.

We check in with Denver Post Editorial has-been Dan Haley (no relation to “why isn’t she doing better!?!?” presidential candidate Nikki Haley, as far as we know), who, like all right wing boomers, spends way too much time on NextDoor and can’t reconcile why the anger he’s sensing among his neighbors on his internet rancor app hasn’t transferred to electoral relevance for Republicans. We have a few ideas.

And after some quick hits, that’s it for this episode of the Get More Smarter Podcast! Thanks to Kyle Clark for the shoutout on Next, and that clip is right below.

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The Get More Smarter Podcast
This is the official newsletter for Colorado's FIRST BEST AND ONLY weekly progressive political podcast by Ian Silverii and Jason Bane.